About Us
Revolutionizing the t-shirt industry, one broken integration at a time
Our Mission
To deliver mediocre-quality t-shirts at reasonable prices, while pretending we're a tech startup with huge scaling potential. Our vision is to become a unicorn... or at least make payroll.
Meet the Visionaries
Fearhalm
CTO & Technical Visionary
Fearhalm brings 15+ years of experience writing code that works 60% of the time. His expertise in copying code from Stack Overflow is unmatched. His greatest achievement is writing 200 lines of code without a single syntax error.
Silentpeace
CEO & Strategic Leader
Silentpeace is a visionary entrepreneur with a proven track record of renaming projects after the original name didn't pass code review. Known for his ability to turn every meeting into a brainstorming session and every bug into a feature.
Previous Accomplishments
Successfully launched 47 projects, 3 of which still work
Won 'Most Creative Use of console.log' Award 2023
Achieved 99.99% uptime* (*excluding weekends)
Built an AI-powered solution that turned out to be an if-else statement
Featured in 'Startups That Definitely Exist' Magazine
Successfully migrated from JavaScript to TypeScript after 2 years and 47 production bugs
BalkanOps Roadmap 2025-2026
Our vision for the future of tech fashion industry
Blockchain Integration Initiative
We will add 'powered by blockchain' to the footer. Revolutionary integration that will change the way people... read footers.
AI-Driven Size Recommendation Engine
We will replace 'Custom Size' button with 'AI Custom Size' button. Uses advanced algorithm (Math.random()) for recommendations.
Mobile App Launch
We will launch a mobile app that's just a WebView of the website. Will have huge impact on user experience (it won't).
Metaverse Expansion
We will upload a 3D t-shirt model to Roblox. Strategic move that will position us as leaders in the Web3 fashion space.
International Expansion
We will add flag emojis of other countries to the footer. Ambitious plan for global domination of the tech fashion market.
Join the Revolution
We don't just sell t-shirts. We create an ecosystem of cotton fibers with integrated value proposition. Or something like that a Product Owner said once.